Irritant

Seriously, give me a fucking break. I don't know what the fuck more you guys want from me. My only freedom on saturdays, go home a bit later on fridays since school already started is wrong meh? I said will be home by 11 what the fuck more you want. Check one me, piss the shit out of me. Seriously. What am I? 10 years old ah? Since fucking young you all only control me. Ever thought of why I behave like this? Because you all control me like a dog it just makes me fucking annoyed and just wanna rebel. You all also never reflect. Last time ask to go out like want your life. Everything also cannot. Whereas your precious elder daughter gets everything the way she wants. At 18 she get to stay over at her friend's place. Just cos her friend's going to london. So the fuck what? If it was me you'll prolly pass a remark like 'your friend going overseas so what, not like she not coming back.' Seriously. You guys make things the extent where I just don't see a need to tell you anything. Since it always ends with disapproval. You think my sister's friends are angels? Please lah okay, I think I'm more real and truthful compared to her okay. At least you know how my friends are truly like. Please. And everyone is not as bad as you perceive them to be. There are many things I refuse to let known because of your stereotypical nature. Your character really like one fucking auntie. Seriously, say and night nothing to do just gossip gossip talk about people like you very perfect. Come on, no one's perfect. If you're so stereotypical, why would I wanna share anything else with you? Just so you can diss them further? Seriously. If you honestly dislike me so much, and hate me so much. Just drive me out. I will fucking show you I can still do well and get good grades on my own even if you're not there to support me. Even if you kick me out, I will still pay my own school fees. 3/4 of the things you've said to me since I can remember you telling me are all discouraging stuff. Seriously. From psle all the way till now. Please lah, sometimes your mouth really. Curse people like they're your own child and you always tell me what next time my kids will also be disrespectful. So does it mean that I'm like this and jiejie's like this just cos you were like this in the past? Now I know. I also hear you people talk about ah mah what. Behind her back. Say last time only know how to this that this that. So that's right?

I really am fucking sick of it. I don't even care if you fucking drive me out or don't care about me. Seriously. I'm so old already but you still treat me like a 10 year old. I'm fucking tired. Tired of trying to pleas everyone. Go school stress, go home still must stress. Seriously.. Why not just get me a leash? Oh and a collar to go with. Easier for you no? Fuckng hell. Why can't you just leave me alone like you leave my sister. I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE TO FUCKING CHECK ON ME. I WANT AND NEED SOME PRIVACY. Something I have never had in my 20 years of living. Take blogs for example. How many times I change url how many times you pry your way through to be a nosy parker about my things. Seriously. What you wanna know can ask. But like I said, everything I say you also dunno how to listen or appreciate. If you think your assumptions are so accurate. Stick to them. Stop wasting my time asking me this and that. Fucking serous waste of time. I got better things to do. You guys where got understanding. Anything only point fingers to me my fault. Never look at yourself whether you got wrong also not. You know who raised me? My grandmother. You came up with the money, but I'm sorry this is the sad truth of life. Nothing can buy back time or my childhood. As little as I saw you in the past, favouritism and your constant scolding didn't help very much. I'm thankful for you working so hard to feed me and raise me. But I am not a channel for you to vent your frustrations or anger. And one thing, you are a female too. Sometimes when I raise my voice or seem easily irritable, because of something called pre menstrual syndrome. I thought you'd know better. But it just shows how much you know me. And for one instance, you got what I liked and dislike to eat wrong. When I've told you a million times. I don't say, but I did feel a pinch. My own mother don't even know what I like or dislike to eat.

But honestly, I seriously fucking tired of being on a fucking leash. Right now, I just wanna be left alone. Because my mom is not understanding at all. Stereotypical and very much prejudice. She practically hates me and everything that's associated with me. Just so you know, people with tattoo doesn't mean they are bad or incorrigible. It doesn't make them gangsters or anything. I actually know a few people who are professionals who has tattoos. And please, father said he doesn't care if he's got tattoo or what, he knows now a days it's a form of art. As long as he treats me good and takes care of me and feeds me and clothes me, he is acceptable. And as far as I know, he meets all of these criteria. He is not as bad as you perceive to be. Plainly because you never once looked at him normally or tried to understand him. You look down on him and you are fucking prejudiced against him. You make me feel like you've been looking down on me too. Thanks. If you stop being so prejudice and stereotypical, you'll find he's a good person. He knows you told him to go to hell still tell me don't angry. Because you love me. Yah lah. You won't believe mah. How can someone with tattoo be so understanding and grown up. Please, stop it with your stereotypes. Even if you don't believe I don't care, precisely why I never even mentioned in thhe first place. I already expected your answer 'really meh, don't bullshit'. Really.. People know you prejudice and call names all and still can be so gracious and respectful. You are more than twice his age, and you're like that. I don't know. Sorry this post is out of anger, I'm full of it. So some things I say may be out of line, I apologise. But you drive me up the wall.